Dear Paul Pierce,
You are a good basketball player. You can really play your ass off. You can beat the mule's ass.
But.
Your "beard" is the worst thing ever. Either grow a goddamned beard or motherfucking shave. That shit on your face is an affront to all living things in general and humanity in particular.
There's nothing wrong with not being able to grow a full beard. A lot of dudes are a bit patchy. But seriously, you're on TV all the goddamn time with that horseshit (on the right side especially) looking like you fell face first into a motherfucking Weed Eater.
In conclusion, keep on playing that rock music; keep on playing said basketball. BUT SHAVE THE FUCKING BEARD!
Signed,
EVERYONE IN THE GODDAMNED WORLD, particularly:
Woody Hayes, Cloud Strife, Nancy Reagan, Paul Ruebens, Nancy Grace, Batman, Willie Nelson and Anne Frank
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